On My Mind

Happy Monday, y’all! We’ve made it through more than half of the work day; I promise that if I can make it through, so can you! While I would love to do a weekend recap for everyone (cause I know you are just that interested in how I spend my days), it really just wasn’t all that extraordinary on paper. Here’s how it goes:

-my car broke down on Thursday

-I went to Target with my mom on Friday to get a nice flannel scarf (I heart plaid).

-Saturday started at 8 am with Zach and my dad trying to fix the car…and further breaking it.

-Sunday included relaxing with the future in-laws, hitting up the new H&M, and ended in a freezing rain while trying (and failing) to fix my car.

Not so exciting, right? But it was just what I needed. We really got some time to relax in between the car mishaps, and it was awesome! Instead of dwelling on the weekend today, I just wanted to put my random Monday thoughts down on the proverbial paper.

monday on my mind

// I am trying to get the blog self-hosted on wordpress.org, and am struggling. Does anyone have any tips/advice/good resources I could use to help with the transition? I am super computer illiterate, but am ready to learn make this space my own.

// My MOH and I threw around some premature bachelorette party ideas this morning. I am loving the idea of a mini-getaway with my 21 and over maids for a party weekend in a nearby city. Nashville, Cincinnati, somewhere! I’m getting excited 9 months early!keep-calm-and-wait-for-the-bachelorette-partyvia.

// I love planning. So much. Not just in wedding land, but in my life. I currently have three planners on my desk and I’ve just been going through and updating them all. Makes my heart flutter!

// Speaking of fluttering hearts, my fiancé has been super awesome, especially after a hard weekend of slaving over my dumb car. He ROCKS.

// I maybe started listening to Christmas music in my office today…NO SHAME.

// We’re making Thanksgiving plans with our sides of the family this week and I am super pumped to eat like a boss. Plus I’m excited for our mini-Thanksgiving party for two next Saturday!!

// Which also brings me to one issue…I haven’t been to the trainers in weeks. I really need to go back (once the doc OK’s me!).

l-Pug-Puppy-Working-on-High-Fivevia.

// I’ve been thinking about puppies lately…too bad I won’t get a little puggle wuggle for my house until next February at the earliest!

// I’ve been on a closet overhaul/online shopping extravaganza lately…and I’m not hating it. But my wallet is.

// Speaking of my wallet, I really need to get this assistantship I applied for last week. Send all good thoughts this way! Nothing like making money and getting great experience for my future career!

hello-monday-naturevia.

Now, I’ll let you all get on your merry Monday way! What’s been on your mind today?

Growing Up Means Staying True to Yourself

This post has been sitting pretty in my drafts for two straight months. I can’t say that I am any more ready or understanding of the topic, but I can say that the past month has thrown me into a whole new world (“a dazzling place I never knew!”), and I am learning something new every day. Upon graduating in May, I can honestly say I had no clue what I was going to do. Obviously I’ve talked about graduate school before, but even in May I hadn’t yet received my clear admission.

Since then, I’ve gotten the clear, but I can’t say that my mind has gotten the same. I still don’t think I know what I want to do with my life. Yikes! It scares me to say that out loud, especially when I know I’ll be paying twenty thousand big bucks for another degree (double yikes…). I think that one thing has become more clear in my mind, though, and I wish I could say it doesn’t scare me, but it does. It also excites me, and intrigues me, and sometimes confuses me, but mostly it helps me understand why I still don’t truly know what I’m meant to be doing. I think I just want to try everything. Until the past few weeks, however, I didn’t really know what everything was. But then I realized that I want to be a birthing doula. I also am in love with my contracting desk job! Who knew! I also want to write a book. Maybe fiction; possibly even poetry! I want to be a musical manager. True to my bookish self, (and thanks to my entrepreneur dad), I want to open a coffee shop/bookstore. I want to do it all, and I really mean it all!

default

 

via

I know that I really need to take one bite at a time rather than taking it all in at once, but graduating and realizing what all I can really do with my degree has given me such a sense of freedom. I can make my own decisions; I can stay up until one in the morning, or I can go to bed at eight (guilty). I can drink as much Starbucks coffee as I want, even though my budget tells me otherwise. I can work out when I want to, and I can read what I want to, and I can truly be whatever I want to be.

With all of these new-found freedoms, however, came about a million new responsibilities. I am financially independent for the first time in my life. Thankfully, I am still under a rent-free roof (graduate school is literally taking every penny I make at my new job, plus I’m paying off my undergrad loans immediately. Can I get a “triple-yikes”? However, I literally have to watch every. Damn. Penny. I wish I had worked at living on a budget more seriously through the last four years, but I didn’t. I won’t look back and regret so much, though, because the time is now. I have to learn as I go along. I’m sure I’ll make a number of mistakes, and I’ll learn from every one. It’s scary, I’ll tell you that much. I am an adult. There’s no more putting it off and saying I’m not quite there. I am there, and I really need to embrace it and learn as much as I can.

2014-06-05 10.41.54-2

Office. I have an office!

I have two awesome parents who are mentoring me through it, as well as my older man (thanks, Z!), but this is also a new chapter that I really need to author – on my own. No editors here. This is a me and me alone kind of thing. My next chapter will more than likely include the addition of a “fiancé” or “husband”, and when the time comes, I’ll embrace that too. Until then, I am Rachael. I am a recent college grad. I am a contract administrator for a local company. I am a master’s degree candidate. I am a creative, open-minded young woman who is creating her path. Right now, that path has about fifteen tentacles rolling off each side, and I plan to traipse down each and every one of them. I may be forty-five when I get to the end of this particular path, but I’ll also be starting (and ending) others at the same time.

If I don’t start to try it all now, when will I?

What Feels Right

Growing up in my family was never really stressful or uncomfortable; I had my moments of “That’s not fair!” and “Why can’t I do (blank) now?”, and I’m sure everyone else has too. However, after years spent learning lessons and growing up and out of my parents’ reach, I understand more of what they were trying to teach us. As my siblings and I grew up, we also grew used to my dad’s table talk, or his “high-horse speeches” as we have come to call them. Dad’s lessons always stemmed from his own experiences growing up, his growth in his faith, and the lessons his business successes have taught him, and my brother and I (and someday my little sister) both really appreciate what he is telling us. From my dad we learned why my grandma always goes crazy for Christmas gifts and why we really never NEEDED any of the gifts we begged for; we learned what a bargain was good for (if only I’d known a guitar in exchange for four years of marching band slavery was not a good bargain); and lately, as I approach my final semester of college and my brother continues in his post-secondary journey, the topic of jobs has come up. Sure, jobs have surfaced before as he pushed us to find a job during high school and to save all the money we could, but lately it has been put in the direction of finding what will make us happy and what will help us make a life for ourselves and our future families.

While I know my dad only means the best for my brother and I, these career talks have really stressed me out. In the past 5 months my biggest fear has been making the wrong choice; I don’t want to work in a job that I will hate, but I don’t know that I have an attainable Dream Job. I would love to be an editor or an event planner, but I also don’t want to move away from Kentucky. It’s become my home, and a few special people in the state have also become my home, and I couldn’t leave them. So the editing dream is gone. Event planning is a joke of a job to most people, and those who do venture into the business are jumping into a shark pool of sorts; the career is crazy competitive, and I don’t know how I can fit into that crazy world (even though I would love – LOVE – to be a part of it). After hearing about how important it is to find a job that you love, because “if you don’t love your job, you’ll end up more and more spiteful towards it each year”, I want to find “The One”. I know it’s out there, and I know that no matter what, I will be happy, but after hearing from the wisest man I know, I can tell that loving your job really is an important aspect of my future.

Today, I received an acceptance letter into graduate school for a Master’s in Higher Education, and I really think I could love the job; I don’t want to think I love it, I want to know like I know how much I would love to coordinate events or edit up-and-coming novels. So, instead of finding a whole slew of new things to worry about, I’m going to look at the bright side; I have options. My dream is never going to go away, and it will never be impossible to reach either. And if I decide to go with the unknown, I will find a way to love my job, or at least to love my life. I have some amazing people who will be going into the future with me, and I know for certain that that alone will help me settle into what feels right.